Writing a post about “Love” is perhaps not what would be expected from a 50 plus year old male. After all, us Generation Baby Boomer blokes are not meant to be in touch with our feelings or to be discussing the “L” word.
However, an event has unfolded over the last few days warranting me doing just that, as challenging as it might be.
My story is of a much-valued friend who until recently, has been a little unlucky in love.
She is an attractive lady, striking even, intelligent and while naturally a little reserved, is great company.
She has travelled extensively, lived in London, and carved out a career in Financial Services while also being a talented writer.
More importantly, she is also an incredibly giving person, putting the needs of everyone else ahead of her own. Not sometimes, but always.
Back to her lack of luck in Love.
Her giving nature and tendency to over compensate has left her exposed to being taken advantage of. Some years of being taken for granted culminated in the ending of a long-term relationship early in 2016..
She has great capacity to Love, to care and to give and is open to doing so.
When least looking, she met a guy a few years younger and there was an instant connection. This grew when he took a job in the same State she had moved to after the relationship breakdown. He was prepared to take a risk for her.
He also proved to be a warm, loving, caring and giving person, and for once, she had met a man who reflected her beliefs and ideals and her capacity to Love.
Love blossomed and they moved in together at the start of 2017.
I had never seen her so overtly happy. The relationship was a partnership of equals and friendship of like-minded people with common values. It was just beautiful to see, hear and feel how much they loved each other.
He passed away on Thursday, and did so by his own hand.
There had been some behaviour changes in recent weeks. There was excessive sleep, and some alcohol consumption when he is basically a non-drinker. There was also some moodiness but a job he had been looking forward too had fallen through and this was excused accordingly.
His love and care for her was reflected in the way he went about doing what he did – when visiting family interstate, ensuring she would not be the one to find him.
His family and friends have been very supportive of her and making it very clear the last 8 months have been the happiest and most wonderful of his life. They are grateful and appreciative to her for giving their Brother, Son, Nephew the extreme happiness his troubled soul had never experienced.
She is grieving, oh how she is grieving, but she is also grateful for their time together and that he taught her, showed her, the respect and love she is deserving of.
She has learned much more about his condition these last two days and while dreadfully sad, is also comforted knowing he is finally at peace.
Their love was amazing, real, obvious and a classic case of where ‘one plus one plus love’ equalled so much more than two.
This is also a reminder to us all to be mindful of changes in behaviour of those we are close to and love.
Heaven has gained a lovely and loving person who has left a legacy that will be remembered and people who are better for knowing him.
Your peace is deserved.